Nice Try, Numbnuts

I have noted before that “social media” is often a not-very-social place in which to interact with others. I, myself, have voiced my own displeasure with some individuals, businesses, and organizations on social media platforms. Not always nicely. Frankly, I can’t say that I have too many regrets.

One thing that has amused me though to no end are the remarks from people—largely from those that disagree with me on a political issue or topic—that evidently think that they can mock me and upset me because of my job or some other thing that they deem mockable as it relates to their ideas of what constitutes success and a good or even decent life.

I almost never feel true anger over what they have to say. It’s laughable that they evidently feel that I, a grown man, care enough about them or their opinions to be wounded by their ill-informed assessments of me and the life that I have lived. I can usually tell that they couldn’t have walked in my shoes because they are soft as baby shit.

Any anger that I do feel is largely because I recognize the intent behind their remarks. They laughably imagine that they can inflict emotional/psychological pain. It’s like getting hit by someone and the blow doesn’t inflict any real pain or do any damage. You weren’t hurt, but you feel a strong desire to respond.

I once was struck in the back of my shoulder by a guy that threw a punch as I was steering someone away from a potential confrontation. I wasn’t hurt or injured, but I saw red. Watching the guy that threw the punch, I removed my glasses, and proceeded to hand them to the guy that I had previously been steering away from a possible fight. This so that I could start throwing punches. It didn’t come to that, because three guys that I didn’t know knocked my assailant to the asphalt and proceeded to kick and stomp his ass mercilessly. Evidently he had stirred up some bad feelings with some other gentlemen in the bar that we had just left. I admit to having felt a strong desire join in and kick and stomp him into unconsciousness. Not because I had been hurt, but because I recognized the intent behind his earlier punch.

Below is an uncompleted, rather wrathful draft of a post written as a response to those cretins on social media that laughably imagine that their judgements about me are going to somehow painfully wound me. Inside the 56-year-old man that knows better and knows that a violent confrontation is not the answer is a young 20-something hothead that would love to wipe that mocking smile off your silly face. The draft post:

What the little shits see as something for which to mock someone, I see as life. Just life. I played this hand, not you, princess. Have I lost in love? Yeah, I have. Fuck you! Were there times when I didn’t get the girl? Yeah, fuck you! Were there times when things didn’t work out as I planned? Times when I failed? Times when I was disappointed? Yeah, fuck you!

Nobody will ever be harder on me than me. I have looked in the mirror and I am okay with how I got here, you ridiculous, braying jackass. Your assessment of my situation and my life are fucking laughable. You are a fucking gnat. A sand flea. A mosquito. I wish that you were standing before me so that I could laugh in your silly, smug face. You are insignificant to the point of being entirely inconsequential. Oh, I recognize that you think that you can wound me. I recognize your pathetic attempt to hurt me. I would happily find an empty field or a “mutual combat” jurisdiction in which you and I could tussle if you want to “dance.” Please, please, please choose “rough-and-tumble” rather than fighting “fair.” I would like nothing more than to rip off an ear, gouge an eye, or bite off some flesh and smile in your smug, shocked, incredulous face, you monumentally stupid, simpleminded bastard. In another time and another place, you would walk the plank for my jubilant, jeering crew of merry cutthroats. You laughably think that you know me? Motherfucker, you know Jack shit and Jack left to have sex with your mother. Get bent and goof your gums on a clam, you silly, simpleminded bastard.

😏